Cameron Capachietti
- My final thesis of my third essay was “Both essays have altered my perception of racism of the present and the past, due to the fact of bigger events like injustice due to the color of someone’s skin to something smaller like strong stares”. The reason why I added more specific components into my thesis was to bring up events that I would later agknowledge later into my essay. The function of my thesis was to prove to the reader that anyone’s perceptions or views can be changed no matter how stuck in their ways someone is.
- Some strong aspects of my final essay was that I got to incorporate all the edits and final thoughts that I have learned over the other two essays I wrote in this class into a stronger essay. One specific aspect is that I used a lot of my own opinion and voice into this essay, but also I learned how to correctly put the authors’ essays into conversation with each other smoothly and correctly, which is something I struggled with when I first started this class. The part of my essay that I believe was strong and has shown these aspects is the last paragraph before my conclusion because I incorporated all the authors we have used from past essays and put them all into conversation with racism and with Cadogan and Biss.
- Global revision was an important part in writing my final essay. The biggest global revision tool thatI tried to improve on was allowing my voice to come through in my writing and making it stronger than before, rather than just relying on the author’s words. Another revision I worked on in this essay was not having my essay be so quote heavy , meaning I explained the quotes I used more in depth and unpacked them. One of the most helpful tools that helped me fix these issues was the feedback from my peers and professor allowing their opinion as my audience to show me where these things could be fixed. This was helpful because I didn’t recognize these issues in their places when I was writing.
- An important “quote sandwich” that I believe I wrote comparing the two essasy from Biss and Cadogan was when I sated “As we all know most of the time history can be pretty ugly even to the point of disgust. Biss writes “the bodies of the men lynched from telephone poles are silhouetted against the sky. Sometimes two men to a pole, hanging above the buildings of a town. Sometimes three. They hang like flags in still air” (Bliss 2009). This quote proves that we should all acknowledge and see the ugly truth from the past and grow from it. It’s important for us to learn from the past and recognize what went wrong so history doesn’t repeat itself in today’s society. This event leads to something more present with the clothes you wear, some people’s mindsets are stuck in the past and need to change it drastically. Through the experiences from Cadogan we heard that “No parents had told me how to behave when I was stopped by the police, how to be as polite and cooperative as possible, no matter what they said or did to me” (Cadogan 2016). Cadogans statement suggests that we’re doing something wrong, when a parent has to talk to their young child on how to act around police presence when all the other white kids don’t have to, is the real form of hate. This quote is important because it shows how careful someone of color has to tiptoe through their lives, in fear of being killed and even the fear of making a mistake and the consequences being 10 times harsher than someone who isnt of color”. I think this quote sandwich was strong because it transitions from both essays smoothly with a strong unpacking of the connection between both quotes.
- After finishing both my final third essay and looking at my first essay I wrote in English class I have noticed many differences in my writing not only grammatically but technique as well. One of the most noticable differences I noticed was my ability to incorporate my own opinion and voice into my essay without holding back and being afraid of what my readers would think of it. On the other hand, I have never really been able to connect authors’ pieces correctly, especially when putting them into conversation with each other and I believe I have officially learned how to somewhat correctly make that connection strong and clear.
